Tina Mitchell Wilkins
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3/25/2022

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On a gorgeous Saturday in the Hill Country of Texas, I had the wonderful honor of singing for our friends’ wedding. It was an intimate ceremony....maybe 15-20 people. A blending of families was about to take place and everyone present knew this was a big deal. Between the couple, they have 8 children. Four grown and on their own, two teenagers and two little ones. So while the attention is typically on the marital couple, today, it was equally shared with the kids. The youngest of the children is 2 1/2. He was the star of the day...in his little suit, blond hair and freshness. The ceremony took place at the beautiful Dulcinea Chapel, with a view that goes on for miles. A special addition to the chapel is a big wedding bell that one can ring to celebrate the union of the betrothed. The 2 1/2 year old was lead to the door that opened to the huge rope that was attached to the bell. Oh yes, he loved the bell. He loved the bell...A Lot...before the ceremony and after.

Minutes before the wedding, I noticed that the sweet, eloquent 5 year old sibling was huddled up in a niche all by herself. A few moments before, she was charming the congregation with her cuteness. I asked her if she too wanted to ring the bell...but she did not say anything back. She looked quite sad, so naturally I thought it was because the youngest was getting to do things that she wasn’t. The family was then called to gather for the ceremony to begin.

The minister’s message was casual and light, focusing mainly on the promise to uphold this big, beautiful, blended family. Our friend Marc played guitar, while I tried my best to sing the requested wedding song...all in Spanish. It was really challenging, but fun to learn for this Irish, Polish & German girl from Wisconsin.
It was rewarding to see the smiles of the bride and groom, when I would daringly look up from my notes... all phonetically written out.

The exchanging of rings, the monumental I Do’s and the wedding kiss was over. The big bell was rung and the congregation was awaiting hugs from the couple. I happened to be standing near the bride when the 5 year old, who was crying came up to her. The bride (her mama) asked why she was crying. She said, “I just don’t want things to change”.

I.Just.Don’t.Want.Things.To.Change.

Oh my Lord. I just thought she wanted to ring the big bell...but this child was wise and sensitive and deep. She was forecasting what was to come, while we were all caught up in the fairy dust of the moment. Her mama assured her that nothing was going to change. They still would live in their home, but it will be beautifully different.

I turned around to see if I was the only one witnessing this holy moment, and noticed one of the young uncles, wiping his eyes. I said, “You heard that, right?”. He said, “Yes”...through his tears. We just kind of stood by each other and shook our heads.


Everything Changes. Everything.

Unexpected lessons learned from a 5 year old on this beautiful spring wedding day in the Hill Country? Life is gloriously messy, brilliant, mysterious and yes, ever, ever changing.
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Mr. James on a Bus

3/16/2022

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I sat beside Mr. James on my way up to Fort Worth. We were on a cool, "luxury" bus, called
Vonlane. Vonlane travels from Austin to Dallas, Fort Worth and Houston. Our Interstate 35
here in Texas is a bear. No one loves to drive I-35. It was my first time taking this particular
bus. Walt was already in Dallas for a gig, so we thought it would be nice not to have two cars to deal with. Amtrak was sold out. Vonlane was 109 bucks, one way. A bit steep, but let me tell you...it was Totally. Worth. It. Plus you get snacks, beverages and a blanket. Oh and the service was awesome too.

Mr. James was on the bus first. I was on the bus second. He said, "Hello" and then said,
"Terrible things going on in this world……those poor people in the Ukraine".
I was so grateful to sit by someone who had the same need to talk about the disbelief and helplessness we were feeling. 

My new friend, James is a handsome African American man, who I thought might be in his 60's. He told me that he and his (late) wife had been married for 56 years. 56? Mr. James
then told me he was 78. He was on his way up north to visit his sister, who was in an assisted living facility. He has lost his wife to illness in November of '21 and now was on an extended trip, visiting relatives in Texas. He lives in Michigan, but might be relocating to Texas, to be near family. And to get out of the snow. And to maybe process the grief.

My new friend James is a devout man. He was a Deacon in the church. He had a steady/
normal job for years, but then was called to be in the Ministry. He is a good listener. He
also has this beautiful voice, that made you want to listen deeply to his stories and take notes. I liked how we talked about life in the context of spirituality, meaning and belief in something bright and beautiful and loving, despite the sadness of the world. 

His faith is strong.  He didn't preach to me, he just exuded it.  He asked if I had a home church. I told him that my long walks were my church.  He agreed that it was a great way to connect with God; walking and praying. I bet they were really missing him at his home church, while he was reuniting with relatives and friends here in Texas. I can imagine that many folks like to hear James' voice on a Sunday. Calm, present, soft and kind. Mr. James on a bus, who was grieving the loss of his one true love, asked me questions about my life.
That's what a holy man does.  Despite his pain, he lets the other person talk. I was just coming out of a few months of the blues, and Mr. James let me talk. He lost his wife.  He needed to talk, but he opted to listen to his new friend instead, as we rolled down I-35.

My spirit felt lighter as I got off the bus in Fort Worth.  Maybe we are where we are supposed to be, all the time. I vowed to be a better listener. I vowed to be more mindful. I vowed to be less selfish. I hope Mr. James finds peace wherever he lands. I hope he is led to other trains, airplanes and Uber rides, to spread the good news.  I hope he continues to create a wave of love, no matter what the circumstances. To listen without judgment.  To be the sunshine on a bus, to some lucky girl, who just so happened to sit next to an angel, on her way up to Fort Worth. 
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    TMW
    Observing things and hopefully writing about them. 

    The War of Art is my go=to book.  If you are a creator of things.. I recommend it highly. 

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