I have been wanting one of those cool rattan outdoor couches with big fluffy pillows for years now. I have looked longingly at the gorgeous sets at Home Depot, Lowes, World Market and at At Home. I sit in them, sometimes stretch out and lay on them, pretend I am having a conversation with Oprah on them and then ultimately talk myself out of buying them. You see, we have a lot of seating in our backyard. Treasures passed down from our parents & friends, mostly. I even have an old iron combo set from my brief first marriage. (it’s nice that some things last) But I have always wanted the comfort of one of those sweet sofas.
I was casually researching things on the internet and somehow, it read my mind and started interjecting outdoor furniture in my brain space. It’s like when you talk about something in the kitchen and Alexa and your iPhone hears it... and then suddenly ads start popping up everywhere you look. White rattan, tan rattan, chocolate rattan. White pillows, orange pillows, blue pillows. Remember when we would sit in front of the TV on Saturday mornings and watch Bugs Bunny being lured with a carrot? Eyes with hearts in them, half closed and floating toward the trap? Yeah. Me. Couches. Fluffy.
Here’s my reasoning. Thought I would start with that, because you already knew I bought something. Coffee. Coffee made me do it. Every morning (truly, I cannot wait to wake up and have coffee. Some people cannot wait to go to sleep at night, I cannot wait to wake up to French Roast.) During the shutdown, we started our morning with a nice cup and sitting outside. Not too exotic. Not too unusual. People do this all of the time. Well, our dog Ranger thinks it’s a national holiday every time we start the coffee, because that means we are going to SIT down outside, usually together, while he wrangles the lizards that have taken over the world. He LOVES it when we have coffee.
Since the big Texas freeze, our backyard has been in a bit of disarray. It was a tiny fairy garden of love and paradise during the days of Covid, but now needs some attention. Walt is a beautiful gardener, so he is slowly digging, replacing and creating an artistic palate of gold lantana, autumn sage and agave. I painted the concrete patio last year to kind of look like a street in Portugal. I bought a huge stencil, painted the base layer, stenciled for 600 hours (ok, maybe 6 hours) and it actually looked pretty sweet. Now it’s peeling and slowly
making me want to cover it with a dull gray and sadness. BUT.. I bought a couch, so that means we will have coffee outside and that means I will be looking at the sad porch and that means I will need to power wash, sand and start fresh again. Ranger will be happy because we will be outside and I will be happy because I will feel like I am again in Portugal with my loyal pup and the darkest of roasts, for the mornings.
So Wayfair. Wayfair is the devil. Well, not the actual devil, but it has it’s hooks in us. You look up one tiny couch on Wayfair and then all of a sudden your computer is flooded with patio sets, arbors, fountains, jacuzzis, flower planters, back yards in Tuscany and things you absolutely Need. And Want. And Need. So I scroll. I scroll until I find the sofa that will tie it all together, so we can have French Roast coffee... make our dog happy... make each other happy...live life to the fullest and create peace in the world. I found it. It’s beautiful and it will change the course of our backyard parties, thus, the World. But, it cannot be delivered until late July. And there is a hefty delivery charge. Then I happen to remember that Amazon Prime is my friend and so I blow Wayfair and all it’s glory a kiss and drop on into couch-land on Amazon.
Amazon is a different animal. You want a couch.. here are 4. All the same couch, different suppliers, different prices, but we can get it to you a minute ago. Found it. Bought it. Shipping tomorrow, The world is about to be happy.
Our couch is delivered quickly. It is also in a big box. I might have not read the fine print on Amazon that said, Assembly Required. I open the box and it has everything placed in it perfectly. The couch pieces, the cushions and the millions of screws, bolts and washers. And a tiny screwdriver thing. I am not a fan of putting together IKEA furniture, but I would take it over what was presented to me at this very moment. But the best most worst part was looking at my husband’s face when he saw the box. I now understand why the fabulous couch was on sale. For 200 bucks more, we could have had a fully assembled couch, that fit perfectly in our truck, that 2 of us could lift with ease... but back to the husband’s face... I think he took a look and thought, "There goes my
Saturday” (leaving out the expletives) But he was wrong. It was “There goes my Saturday, Sunday and Monday”. He’s a trooper. I’m a good trooper’s assistant and it was time to either begin or send the huge box back.
We dumped out the 1000 pieces out on the peeling patio and took a look at the instructions.
(note.. below is just one snippet of the instructions... I found the one part on the paper that didn’t have sweat and tears of angels all over it)
See y’all, Piece of cake! A very detailed, time consuming cake. Like a tiramisu, but not as deliciously gratifying.
So we got started. We both worked together, we worked separately. We laughed, we yelled, we fought. Ok, we didn’t yell or fight, but I thought it would be an exciting addition to the murder mystery movie that will come out of me buying a couch in a box on my husband’s one and only half day off. After a day or three, we finished, turned the couch over to its rightful side, added the cushions and stepped back to look at the masterpiece.
I said..”Well... it doesn’t really go with the other outdoor furn... I mean... I LOVE it....(as to not be sleeping on it for the next week)
Cheers! Here's to many morning coffees on the couch. Until the next sale.